Treats your ducks will love

Now the Mip struggle was over they had to keep focus on the game and not get derailed already, the railing could happen later. Even if it was more just talking the singing was still decent and adorable. Something Connor made sure Zeal was well aware of. Then again, somehow everything the other did was adorable. He couldn’t help but give a smug reply, which in return got him a teasing movement of hips, making him hum softly. It was way too tempting to just forget about the game and start a make-out session. The only thing stopping him was the next question being asked. As good as he could he answered the question, trying to decide what even counted as having a boyfriend. Ten seemed like a good number to settle on, only counting what he felt counted or at least semi-counted. Dating for drugs was still dating, in a way. Soon enough he returned the question, not wanting to stay on that subject for too long. Focusing on the past sucked anyway when the present was so much more fun. ”Truth,” Zeal answered. Clearly they had both learned that dares were very dangerous. The other sat up so Connor ended up sitting on his lap. Not a bad position either. He would have loved to wrap his arms around Zeal but he was still very much cuffed to the other, making that impossible. Instead he frowned as he thought up a question. Sure, he had one he had wondered about enough at late nights. Thing was, the possible answers had a high risk of getting him hurt and he really didn’t want to ruin the atmosphere. At the same time he could easily teleport away, he wasn’t truly restricted. ”Did you really want to kill me?” he mumbled. His gaze stayed focused on some point behind Zeal, really not wanting to meet his eyes. Great, he was regretting the question already without even getting an answer yet.

It was Connor’s turn to ask a question, a loaded one this time. It didn’t feel good to kill off the lighter atmosphere that they had, but he knew the chance of getting another moment to ask was small. He had to know the answer, while not even sure how he would react to any answer he got. It wasn’t like he hadn’t struggled with it; he had plenty while considering all the possible answers. It had been one of the reasons he tried to keep his distance and stay in that denial that was hopeless at this point. It had also been a good reason for him to spiral into more alcoholism and throw even more off his life away as he spent many a night awake just thinking about how fucked up it truly was. If he could he would have forgotten about it ages ago, that’d be so much easier, but he just couldn’t. There was still the scars and the memories that only alcohol and coke could really counter. The silence didn’t come by surprise. It was a heavy question with undoubtedly a heavy answer. ”I did,” the answer finally got confirmed. Connor had been expecting it and yet he felt a heavy feeling in is stomach. He stayed quiet, waiting for more than just that short confirmation. At least he didn’t move away yet, even if the urge was there. He had asked the question so he had to deal with the answer. ”I was scared,” Zeal went on. Connor still kept quiet. ”I know that back then I was dating Azure and you and I weren’t really anything, but I still noticed that you were getting really close to me on an emotional level. I cared for you and I didn’t want that. I was afraid of getting hurt and or getting you closer to me,” he explained. It didn’t make things okay, definitely not, but it was understandable. Knowing them and how messed up emotionally they were it made perfect sense. Connor couldn’t even say that he hadn’t though about the idea of killing Zeal off to make everything easier on himself.

”Azure had never been as close as you were and it scared me. It encouraged me to hurt and to kill you, but I’m glad I failed.” Connor kept his gaze trained on the point in the distance. The mix of sadness and bitterness he was feeling was hard to hide. Being fully aware that the intent was to kill and random coincidence was the only reason for failure hurt, he couldn’t deny that. At the same time he was appreciating the honesty that the other was at least giving. Not to mention how he somewhere wanted to die deep down anyways. ”After my failed attempt I realised why I did it and I knew I would only hurt myself more by proceeding it. So I tried to distance myself from you, trying to push those feelings away, but that didn’t work either.” Now he slowly nodded. At least that was something he could agree on, the distance thing definitely was not working out. ”So yes, at the moment I did, but I knew it was wrong and that I actually didn’t want to,” Zeal finished his answer. It was probably the best answer to the loaded question that was going to get. The intent had been there, but at least it came with the realisation that that wasn’t the way to deal with it. Connor softly sighed out, forcing all the stupid emotions away. ”At least I considered trying to kill you too,” he admitted. Surely that evened out the stakes. ”But it’s still a dick move.” Better to focus on staying casual than let the atmosphere go into depressive too much. ”And it’s good to know you cared for me,” he went on softly. Fucking simp.

The question was heavy, but he wanted to ask it, to use this one opportunity. Knowing that he’d just be thinking about it forever if he didn’t. It was better to just know the truth, no matter how heavy it was. It was why even though the truth hurt, a lot, Connor still appreciated the honest reply he got. It might not make things okay, but it explained things. It even showed how Zeal had cared, in a very fucked up way. The idea of distance was long gone, but maybe that wasn’t so bad. If he truly could ever forgive or forget it was another question. In the end it was just something that their relationship had survived, a very fucked up something. Besides, the idea wasn’t that insane to him. Killing Zeal had seemed way easier at times to get rid off all the conflicting feelings, he had just never gone for it. Didn’t make it any more fun to be threatened with his life, multiple times actually. The whole ‘pull out your organs’ bit was still very much imprinted in his mind. A nightmare or two had even addressed that part, real fun. ”It wasn’t justified and never will be,” Zeal responded. That much could be said for it. Even if Connor still very much thought it was partly his fault, he wasn’t going to mention that. He was going to make his simp comment instead. ”I do,” Zeal spoke softly. ”But that isn’t reason enough to do such a thing and I am deeply sorry for it. You shouldn’t forgive me, but I do want to apologise.” Connor nodded. ”I know,” he murmured. ”I don’t think I ever will,” he sighed out. That was just a part of it, something that couldn’t be turned back and couldn’t be ignored. ”And you have all the right to be mad at me and punch me in the face,” Zeal added. Connor snorted softly at that. ”Tempting,” he smiled softly. Glad to not dwell on the heaviness of it all for too long. Before he ended up having a mental breakdown anyways. ”I’ll punch you when you least expect it,” he promised. That seemed more than fair.

Finally having an answer to the question felt weird, but not necessarily bad. Mostly because it made sense in a very fucked up way. That didn’t make it any better or magically made it okay, but it did make it easier to understand and gave some more reassurance that it wouldn’t happen again. No more murder attempts from now on, obviously. Plus he got the promise that he could punch Zeal in the face sometime, which was a pretty tempting offer. It would be fair too for all the guy had done. ”It’ll help,” Zeal added with a wink. It probably would. Connor chuckled softly. He was going to remember this and one day just punch the other and he wouldn’t be blamed for it. Bonus points if he got 'punished' back. ”Great. I look forward to it,” Zeal responded, clearing the final bit of air. Even if the question was still fresh on Con’s mind he could at least deal with it now. Even reason with his own thoughts about it during whenever the next mental breakdown would be. ”Dare,” Zeal brought them back to the main focus. For a second he looked up confused, before realising they were still in the middle of the game. ”Dare, hm?” he repeated. Okay, maybe this was a good timing to get some slight amount of revenge too. He just had to come up with a good dare. Something that didn’t require moving because he was way too comfortable sitting on Zeal’s lap, even with their previous conversation. ”Put ‘and you’re amazing Connor’ after every sentence,” he grinned. It was the least the other could do.

It was way too easy to forget about being in the middle of a game, thankfully Zeal was there to remind them. A dare this time, which probably was a good decision. It even gave him an opportunity to take slight revenge. An arm was put around his waist and he smiled softly, a smile that turned into more of a smirk soon enough when he came up with a dare. It was sure to remove some of the tension and it’d be very fun to hear the words after every sentence and do his ego wonders. ”For real?” Zeal responded. A nod confirmed that, yes, for real. Connor wanted to hear it every sentence, including this one. ”.. and you’re amazing Connor,” was soon added. Perfect. With a wide smile he looked at the other, clearly enjoying the free compliments way too much. ”I know,” he replied smugly. At least right now his confidence was high and things were going good. Truth or dare turned out to be real fun, even if it was very easy to get distracted from it. ”Truth or dare? And you’re amazing Connor,” Zeal asked with the very important addition. For a second he considered the two options, leaning closer against Zeal as he did. Another dare would probably make it even easier to get the light atmosphere back. Whatever he would have to do couldn’t be that bad either, he hoped. On top of that he didn’t want to be the loser that went for truth too often. ”Dare,” he responded finally, leaning back again to await his fate.

He really was amazing, it just got confirmed after every sentence now. It was perfect. Technically there was no limit to it either meaning that Zeal had to put it after every sentence for the rest of eternity by all means. The question was returned, leaving him to decide between the two options as he leaned against the other. Dare was a fairly easy pick. It seemed like the lighter of the two options and it couldn’t be that bad with how they were still handcuffed together. The smirk that returned did make him slightly nervous. ”Alright hold on, and you’re amazing Connor.” The words still had him smile. Which was dumb, because he had chosen them so he really shouldn’t be getting as flustered as he was from hearing them. His smile disappeared soon enough when he was shoved off his comfortable spot on Zeal’s lap with a noise of protest. His arm got yanked up, a good reminder of the cuffs. ”C’mon get up,” Zeal spoke with a yank of the cuffs - why did that even turn him on? - and ”-and you’re amazing Connor” of course added. Quickly he got up. Curious to what the dare was now it required moving. Even more curious and slightly confused he watched how Zeal felt around in the bag with pet supplies, wondering what kind of dare could even involve pet stuff. Finally something was pulled out. A collar. His eyes widened slightly as he looked up at Zeal with the question clear in his eyes. ”Wear this.” What? The compliment slipped by as he stared at the collar. ”I’m not a dog,” he muttered automatically. Something that could be debated on. This also made for the second time he got to question why he was getting turned on. ”Why?” he finally asked out of the many questions he had. But a dare was a dare. ”Fine,” Connor gave in, at least he wasn’t a coward. Zeal could put it on him and he could pretend he didn’t like it even if he wasn’t very good at pretending so.

It was impossible not to look smug at the compliments he got. Though that smugness soon disappeared when the dare forced him off Zeal’s lap. Confused and curious Connor followed him, not that he had a lot of choice with the way the cuffs were dragging him along. A collar was pulled out of the bag with the announcement that he would be wearing it. His confusion only got worse and with that also the questions he had. ”I think you might actually like it,” Zeal answered with a shrug. Connor gave him a very specific ‘what is that supposed to mean’ look before giving in and letting Zeal put it on. The leather collar was softly put around his neck, somehow the act was still endearing. The worst part was that the second he felt the leather around his throat he could conclude that, yes, he did like it. Way more than he probably should. ”And you’re amazing Connor,” Zeal added. It still got a soft chuckle out of him even in the light embarrassment he was feeling. Embarrassment that only got worse when Zeal finished putting it on him and he was left to stand there and try to hide how aroused he was. Enough to have him turn slightly red and pointedly not look in the other’s direction. He knew his kinks were bad, but he wasn’t expecting this one on top of it all too. ”See, you look good, because you are amazing Connor.” Connor didn’t need to look up to hear the grin in the his voice. His free hand that wasn’t stuck in a cuff was brought up to his neck to feel the leather there. ”It’s fine, I guess,” was the only thing he was going to admit. It was even harder to keep focus on the game now as he got back on the floor and dragged Zeal down too. First on his knees, but quickly realising that together with the collar that was way too dog-like and switching to normal sitting immediately. ”Truth or dare?” he huffed out. Focusing on the game was the best option here.

The last thing Connor had expected his dare to be was to wear a collar. He wasn’t necessarily complaining about it though, other than the protest to show that he wasn’t completely submissive to the level of wanting to instantly wear a collar. Even if he really didn’t have that much of a problem with it. His reputation required the protesting. Still didn’t take a lot to convince him to let Zeal put it on and once he did it felt way too good. Well, that was another one he could add to his list. Connor could  admit it was fine and nothing more. That was all he was going to comment as he sat down. Initially on his knees, but switching up that position to normal sitting soon enough once the implication hit. The teasing grin Zeal was giving him got ignored. This was all his fault. To pull the attention away Connor made sure to focus on the game and not on the constant arousal. He could do this, he could show self control and not get horny from wearing a collar. ”Dare,” Zeal responded, receiving a pointed look in return. He was missing the very important compliment. Dare was however a good choice because it would probably keep them on lighter subjects. At the same time Connor would have loved to ask him about his kinks or something, but that could wait. Or he could just be brilliant and smart about it. ”I dare you to tell me your kinks.” Even at moments like this his plans were amazing as he moved back over to Zeal to sit on his lap again. After all this dare didn’t require any moving.